Healing Generational Trauma
I’ve been thinking a lot about family trauma/ancestral healing over the last few months + how we inherit karma from a dynamic combination of past lives and the choices of our relatives.
The movie Cloud Atlas has a great line, which states:
“The nature of our immortal lives is in the consequences of our words and deeds that go on apportioning themselves throughout all time. Our lives are not our own; from womb to tomb, we are bound to others, past and present, and by each crime and every kindness we birth our future.”
My mom just shared this photo of my maternal grandmother, and it truly took my breath away!
I didn’t have much of a relationship with this person, but she became immortalized in the stories I used to hear about her, and in my estranged-uncle’s book, Bipolar Bare.
This was a woman who was singing in jazz clubs at 16-years-old, then went on to have 6 children, 3 of which she gave away, 3 (including my mother) of which she kept.
Later in life she went on to develop an addiction to prescription medication after complications from plastic surgery, and eventually died from an amalgamation of her choices.
When I think of what she put my mother through, it makes me sad, but then I also think about what lead to her choices, and how she was a human being, trying to figure it out just like the rest of us...in a time where time wasn’t really on her side.
I see myself in her, physically (which is so surreal!), but I also can see the inherited trauma and funhouse mirror of choices I’ve spent the last 34-years navigating and can’t help but sit here in awe at the inversion of karma.
My mother’s mother was a woman who couldn’t even muster up enough heart to say “I love you” to her children, and my life’s path has been to do everything within my power to live in (and express) love.
My proclivities to creativity have allowed me to cultivate a career that’s rooted in imagination, a choice I made at the expense of probably ever being married or having children.
I’ve looked deeply at my own addictions and superficial pursuits and have strived to heal them with every fiber of my being.
Perhaps the healing that I’ve worked through in this lifetime will ripple backwards to her, perhaps the healing in this lifetime will ripple forward to the next lifeline of whatever is to come.
Things work through us and come to us for reasons unseen, but I trust in the familial fractal, and will forever be awe-struck by the uncovering of it all.